Contrabandnanas (Final Fantasy Legend II)

Final Fantasy Legend II is hard. We liked it though. Let’s take a trip across the multiverse to find our deadbeat dad. Then we’ll compete in a dragon race, solve banana crimes, and beat up any deities that look at us sideways.

WARNING: DO NOT CONSUME MAGI. DO NOT PUT IN MOUTH.

Receipts

Interview referenced: https://shmuplations.com/saga2/

Banana facts: https://legendsoflocalization.com/articles/ffl2-opium-bananas/

 

Elephants in Heaven (Final Fantasy Adventure)

Pack your bags – we’re off on a Final Fantasy Adventure! Got enough keys? No, you don’t have enough keys. Bring more keys. Go back and get more keys. See the majestic and incredibly brief ocean! Enjoy a relaxing night staying at a discount Hotel Transylvania type situation where surely nothing fishy ever happens. Fight a monster that’s just a face. It’s just a face. That’s pretty creepy, right? Just a face? Also, how do magic trees reproduce? What are the Medusa contagion rules? Which character should Keanu Reeves play in a movie adaptation? None of that matters! You know what matters? Keys! Keys matter! You can never have enough! Stock up. I’m telling you! For real. Get so many keys. More keys than you think you need. Way more.

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Maximum Mullet (FF3 Part 8)

Let’s power through this Crystal Tower and finish Final Fantasy III. These final dungeons do go on a bit, don’t they? Unei offers unsettling dream interpretation. Xande pulls a classic villain move. Force Ghost Doga returns to feed elderly men to dragons. We lose a fight with nasty weather and mash that snooze button on the cosmic alarm clock. Apologies to Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.

Benny Hill “Yackety Sax” Style Alternative
https://toolofgod.com/my-music/royalty-free-benny-hill-theme-style-alternative/

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