Mike and Remy are playing every Final Fantasy game in the franchise. Guess what? It’s a whole dang podcast. There’s wild head canon, funny amusing worthwhile characters, time loops, tangential character assassination, and sometimes silly games.
You can listen if you want. New episodes every first and third Friday. It’s… really something.
Cyclone devastation! “Everyone is dead.” How many father figures can one game kill off? Let’s finish Final Fantasy II before it gives us the depressions. Mirrors summon dragons. We kill the Emperor. (He gets better.) Then we dance for a very long time. Afters, we’ll treat ourselves to a little headcanon. EPIC REVEAL: Leon is a jerk. Cid gifts you an early Xmas present then gifts himself a nice lie-down. Was Lil Nas X’s “Montero (Call Me By Your Name)” music video about the Emperor? Zombie Borghen, what are you doing in that box? Were you waiting to hear our FF2 Final Fancast final fancast? Okay, Zombie Borghen. If you insist.
Hey, check out this cool Yoshitaka Amano art we mention on the show.
Remy’s upset about something. Not sure what. The podcast ends, but then it keeps going anyway.
Mike is attacked by a wild quiz. The toad spell becomes Remy’s entire way of life. The Red Soul is back – but not for long. The Basilisk is also back but it’s okay actually. Cyclone fortresses are cool but how do they work? Joe Rogan’s not gonna see this episode coming.
We play until we defeat Gottos in Fynn then drop by the Tower of Mysidia. Garland sasses us on mic. We celebrate our first chocobo sighting then face our greatest challenge yet: pronunciation. Mike and Remy steal a sacred artifact and kill a member of an endangered species. Gosh, what else happened? Enter Layla the pirate. Exit the king. We break out of the prison in our mind. Plus, move over flat Earth theory — the toroid globe is here to explain the world map.
Mike & Remy say goodbye to Josef, say hello to Pancake Josef, snowcraft into the icy Snow Cave, and finally blow up the Dreadnaught. Now we have questions. Is the Adamantoise actually a turtle or a tortoise? Why the Red Soul gotta be so nasty? Why is gold stuff better than mythril stuff? What happens if we blow up the dreadnought before saving Princess Hilda? Can Were-Panthers turn into humans or…? Whyyyyyy so many empty rooms?
We play until the Dreadnaught takes off. Actually we still like this game a lot. Airships are cool. Dreadnoughts are very cool. But then Palamecia does war crimes. Let’s talk about what makes FF2 unique so far. New mechanics, new ways of interacting. Remy gets wrecked by werewolves and vampires. Will other Universal Monsters join in later? This game tells you what areas you’re supposed to wait to enter by ruthlessly killing you when you step out of line. Plus: Purple Pajama Wizard betrayal.
First episode of Final Fantasy II. We played until we rescued the miners and Josef’s daughter, Nelly, from the Mythril mine and return to Altair. We got a full FF game under our belt now and we’re feeling ourselves. One step closer to FF podcasting legitimacy. Mike gets a super legit Final Fantasy pop quiz! Enter Minwu, a favorite character to whom nothing bad shall ever happen. Final Fantasy II’s keyword system and unique skill development. Hey wait, there’s writing and characters and stuff in this game. Hey, why is the inn charging me based on my desperation for healing? What kind of hospitality/healthcare system is this?
We finished Final Fantasy I! Time loops are literally the worst. How do they even work? Aesthetics of a fallen civilization: always be robed. Did they originally try to call it “Fighting Fantasy?” Really? BUT FOR REAL, THOUGH? Plus listen in to our very first Final Fancast “Final Fancast” where we discuss which character Awkwafina should play in the movie version.
One Last Thing
Here’s that old Nintendo Power bit Mike was talking about.
Credits
Let’s play the Citadel of Trials through defeating the Kraken. Mike vents his spleen about FF16. Remy vents their spleen about memorization puzzles. Mike encounters his very first time loop and has to replay the first game thus far. We have our first airship sighting in the series, our characters evolve like Pokemon, and we chill with our new bestie, Bahamut. What do the Black Mage and the Invisible Man from Hotel Transylvania have in common? Let’s think too hard about what oxy-ale is and how it works. Fairy slavery is very bad, actually. Don’t do it. Mike attains a surprising new credentials after being quizzed on dia-bility. Then we’ll get our James Cameron on and take this submarine for a spin. Finally, Remy forgets an important step in completing the Sunken Temple and Mike as attacked by Harry Potter slash fic.
We’re playing from the Lich’s defeat up ’til we nab the Fire and Ice Crystals. Lessons are learned along the way, like instant death spells sound metal AF but are bad actually. Plus we’ll take our first Mythology Minute (or five) to talk about dwarves and elves. Can we get some therapy for the guy who’s sleeping against a gravestone? What does any of this have to do with Mr. Bucket? Then Mike and Remy take sensory damage.
The journey of a thousand games begins with a single save file. Mike and Remy start from Square(-Enix) one: the very beginning of FF1. Mike outlines his storied relationship with the Final Fantasy series. Remy recites what they know, which isn’t very much and also isn’t very accurate. Valuable lessons are learned about life, death, and one key difference between churches in Final Fantasy and churches in real life… as far as we know.
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