OK, Broomer (Final Fantasy Legend III Part 1)

We’re finally diving into Final Fantasy Legend III, aka SaGa 3! This episode takes us across the past, present, and future in our quest to stop the Water Entity from flooding everything everywhere all at once. We’ll stop off in Dharm, Elan, Lae, Viper, and Muu, and eventually blast off to Floatland for a showdown with Maitreya. Along the way we puzzle over the new five-step transformation system, wonder at the mechanics of nonlinear causality, and demand answers about Talons and their Units. And who or what is Xagor?

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Evil-ution at Its Purest (FF4 The After Years Part 9)

It’s the FuSoYa chapter starring Golbez. Is Golbez’s first name Theodore or Selena? Counts rule counties; Count Malboros rule Big Mean Jerkface County. FuSoYa, the powerful Lunarian archmage, seems to have roughly six and a half MP at any given moment. How do the moon phases work when we’re actually on a moon? Is osmose secretly useful? Flashbacks to FF4 ensue. Lunarian nesting dolls are a thing. We shimmy and shake along with Zeromus’s Bonus.

This definitely shouldn’t be your very first Final Fantasy game. Right? It seems like maybe it shouldn’t be.

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What’s Eating Gilbert the Great? (FF4 The After Years Part 7)

The English translation of Final Fantasy IV lied to us. Damcyan is economically fudged up but Edward is so hot everyone cuts him slack with being a bad monarch. Hey, what happened to the hovercraft from FF4? Whisperweed has so many world-building implications. Is the chancellor running the biggest economic espionage game in history?

Rubicante F Kennedy Jr drops by to share some health and wellness tips.

PS: Guys, autism isn’t caused by vaccines or Tyenol or basilisk milk pasteurization. I can’t believe this needs to be said.

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