You Can’t Woo the Zu (FF4 The After Years Part 5)

Final Fantasy IV: The After Years continues with “Edge’s Tale: The Pulse of Babil.” Also we talk about Crystal Chronicles for like 10 minutes.

Name a more iconic team of four ninjas. Oh. Yeah, I guess the Ninja Turtles. Well. Here are four other ninjas. They aren’t turtles. One of them is a kite sort of.

We go to a brothel for plot reasons. Our invitations to the Hall of Prayer meeting seem to have been misplaced. We become a toad also for plot reasons. We steal some vegetables — not for plot reasons, though. Just for the thrill of it.

So yeah. That’s Edge’s Tale, basically.

Maybe every Final Fantasy is actually just a story told by that one guy at the bar in Troia. Probably not, but there’s still probably enough meat on that bone for a good 20 minute YouTube theory video.

Listen In

 

Should Have Cast Hindsight (FF4 The After Years Part 4)

Sometimes you get stuck with a timeloop curse. Sometimes you gotta replay part of the game. Spoiler alert: sometimes you have to do it again later. I hope you like cold opens, mid-credits scenes, and extra dramatic goofiness. I was up way too late finishing up this one and I’m very tired now. (Episode 27, by the way – just in case you’re trying to remember why the mid-credits beginning bit sounds familiar.) Anyway, this time we talk about Final Fantasy IV: The After Years – Palom’s Tale.

Special thanks to Remy’s wife for lending her vocal talents for this episode. Special thanks to Unei for the coffees.

Listen In

 

When a Boat is Sneaking (FF4 The After Years Part 3)

Ursula and Yang have daddy-daughter drama. A monk in the bar knocks back kava dranks while a drag king shows us how it’s done. Kain returns and he’s changed his mind again. Adamantoise strikes back. Red Souls are especially noxious because they contain Red Dye 40. We blast House of Pain at the Impact Crater like it’s a gd Pringles commercial, then trek, trudge, and traipse our way through the ‘gator-infested Flashback Forest.

Hey, palm oil is a complicated situation in our world. It’s not all hand harvested from a natural palm grove by a tortoise-punching baddie. Here’s some links about that:

Listen In

 

Broken For Realsies (FF4 The After Years Part 2)

We’re back! All our old pals are back, too. Dwarf Princess Luca has a new look – now with 100% more facial visibility. Calca and Brina are also back to battle on our side mostly. Hey, did you know that sometimes dollbots can combine into one big baby doll megazord thing? Sometimes big creepy baby megazords can shoot missiles. In those times, it’s great to have one on your team. Plus you can repair the dollbots with junk you find in a cave and I’m pretty sure that’s called upcycling.

Maybe Rydia can summon this goblin instead of summoning absolutely nothing. Goblin summons for everyone! Everyone got a goblin summon, right? Did anyone not get their goblin summon? Anyone?

Back to the underworld. Back to the Sylph Cave. Back to the Sealed Cave, which should be called the Not Sealed Enough Cave. If these walls could talk, they could probably coordinate their attacks a little better.

Getting punched by a big buff man doesn’t often feel like winning – but sometimes it is winning sort of.

Listen In